Connector Field Notes #2
Optimize for moments of connection
Something that can only happen in this moment takes priority over something that can happen at any time.
What does this mean? It means I'll stop to talk to a friend I run into on the street unless I absolutely have to be somewhere at an exact time, like an appointment. I’ll linger after an event chatting, I’ll take an extra few minutes in the local shop to chat with the owner, I’ll pause working on something that’s not time sensitive to answer a coworker’s question at my desk. I’ll slot things like errands and workouts into my calendar after scheduling in things like events and social invitations.
The moment that we both happen to be in the same spot at the same time is only available right then, right there. An invitation to a gathering is only good for the day and time of the gathering.
Most other things can happen 10 minutes later than they would have without much consequence- or on a slightly different day. The right here, right now moments add richness and feelings of connectedness to our days.
Go to the last minute dinner
Say yes to spontaneous plans and last minute invitations. The “any chance you’re free to grab dinner tonight?” text, the “I’ll be in town this weekend actually” voice note, the “I Ubered to your office to say hi during my layover in Boston, I’m downstairs” phone call. (True story, that last one.)
Chaos, I know. But in my experience, those experiences are memorable and worth deviating from my routine. Depending on the degree to which they can only happen right in that moment, they’re even worth changing other plans to make it work.
This concept builds on my philosophy about prioritizing time and place that I wrote about above. I’ll reschedule plans with someone who lives nearby who I see all the time in order to see someone who lives far away and I just found out they’re visiting. An unexpected opportunity to do something different, because someone is unexpectedly available or unexpectedly in town, takes priority over the regularly scheduled programming in my life.
Spontaneous plans also make great stories.